I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
