I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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