omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize