My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i've created a new STD.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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