How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
