Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
