yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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