Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
