PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
