goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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