Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
