Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
