he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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