Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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