Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
