11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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