who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
