Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
