Walk of Shame. In a state park.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
