i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
