i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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