So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
