woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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