I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
