So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
