We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
