I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
