whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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