Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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