I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
