it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
