i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
