I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
