everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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