i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
