I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
