I think my vagina is haunted
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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