lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
