My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
