He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Are my feet made of real feet?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
