You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
