Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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