She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
