His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
