I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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