normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
