$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
