I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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