Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
