12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
