Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
