Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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