apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
