Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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