she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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