she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
