This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
