No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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