Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
